Awards
Awards are nice to have, aren’t they? Or course it would be nice to have another trophy, another medal, another plaque. It would be amazing to have another thing to add on your resumé, another thing to brag to your peers about, or even a sum of money or a scholarship. But when your life inevitably comes to a close, does any of that even matter?
Superficiality
No one ever sits in their rocking chair, thinking “I wish I qualified for USAMO when I was 16”, or “I wish I became a Coke Scholar.” No one feels regret for not winning awards that they could have. The depth of an award is often exaggerated, and a disproportionate amount of weight is placed on it. And while the effort put into trying to win an award is substantial, the gain felt by a victory, or even the loss felt by a defeat, is so fleeting; even the effects of a breakup last longer. It’s never as deep as you think it is.
So why do we chase these “awards” when they’re so transient and superficial? Maybe they seem more important in the moment and less important down the road. Of course $20000 would help. Of course a stronger resumé would be great. But it almost always feels like something that’s nice to have rather than something you need, and that’s not what you remember when you grow old. Awards aren’t emotionally touching, and, like external validation, they’re not intrinsically important. They’re simply recognition bundled with prizes. And while you shouldn’t let this discourage you from try to win that shiny plaque, you should keep in mind that if you don’t win, it’s not the end of the world.
Life Update!
I have so many essays to write, and I’m questioning why I’m writing these short essays every week; the doubt is settling in. But I promised myself I’d do this consistently, so you can expect more posts, even if some of them are a bit shorter. (Plus, what’s the difference between applying to 16 and 17 colleges?)
Something that’s been nagging at me occasionally is that one piano arrangement I started writing almost two months ago now. I wanted to do a K-pop song, one I didn’t particularly enjoy, so I chose Fiesta by IZ*ONE. Starting out was tough; the melody wasn’t too hard to figure out, but the thing I struggled the most with was writing the notes for the left hand; I had no prior knowledge in music theory (other than the fact that C-E-G is a C major chord, and when notes are spaced out a certain amount, they sound nice), but I showed a few people my composition, and the feedback was really positive.
There’s one problem however: it’s not finished. Eight measures remain. Eight measures have remained for the past month. Eight measures is all I need to do to finally finish the arrangement, and I’ve put it off for a month. The excuse is always “oh, I have something more important to do” which is generally true. Right now I don’t plan on finishing it, but I might do it once the stress of college applications subsides.
(Also I’ve been somewhat short on ideas. I still have them, but the ice cube is much smaller now than it was half a year ago. If you want me to write about anything specific or if there’s anything interesting you want me to learn and write about, feel free to reach out!)
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