High Expectations
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had high expectations for myself. Maybe it started with a few good grades, some praise from teachers or family, and the quiet belief that “you’re going places.” But somewhere along the way, high expectations stopped being just encouragement, they became the standard. At first, it feels like a good thing. Setting the bar high means you reach higher. You perform better. You push yourself harder. And most of the time, it works, on paper. But lately, I’ve started to realize there’s another side to it, one that doesn’t show up in scores or awards or resumes.
It’s the stress, the self-criticism, the pressure of never feeling like enough, never being content.
Cost
There’s no denying that high expectations can lead to results. I’ve seen this personally; I wouldn’t have qualified for AIME had I not spent a good chunk of my free time studying and preparing. When you demand more of yourself, you often rise to the challenge. You figure things out. You stay up a little later. You go the extra mile. And it feels good to exceed, to improve, and to win.
But somewhere in that climb, the joy can quietly slip away.
When the bar is always rising, when “good” becomes your new baseline and “great” becomes expected, there’s little room left to just be. To rest and enjoy yourself. Because the moment you slow down, the voice creeps in: “You could be doing more. You could be so much more.” And that’s exhausting.
Happiness
I’ve noticed that higher performance often comes with lower happiness. It’s not because success isn’t fulfilling, but because it’s often tied to a never-ending cycle of expectations. The better you do, the more you expect. The more you expect, the less you forgive yourself when you fall short. You stop celebrating the small wins. You stop feeling proud of progress. And worst of all, you stop giving yourself permission to rest because there's always more to do and more you could be doing.
But I don’t think the answer is to expect less of ourselves. Ambition is beautiful. It’s what pushes us to grow, to reach, to discover our own potential. But I do think the answer lies in balance. The truth is: you can want to be excellent without being harsh to yourself. You can have goals and still take breaks. You can push yourself and still enjoy your life. Expecting more doesn’t have to mean sacrificing joy. Make time for the things that bring you peace, even if they don’t make you “better.” Spend time with people you love. Watch a show just because it’s fun. Go outside and touch grass. Some of us need it.
Because life isn’t just about what you achieve, it’s also about how you feel while you’re living it.
Life Update!
Summer sucks. The motivation to do anything has been sucked out of my soul, just like the past two summers. However, I have been working on a few things, so I can actually spend my time on something worthwhile. I’m getting some money for tutoring two students, but other than that, job hunting is absolutely draining. It’s just rejection after rejection and most companies don’t even have time to send a rejection email outright. I’ll just have to keep trying.
Well-written
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