Consistency
We’ve all been there. We tell ourselves we’re going to learn how to play the guitar, learn Japanese, or go to the gym regularly. Then, by the time the next week rolls around, the goal is already dead. We live like before, as if nothing ever happened. But what happened? Why did the passion and the motivation disappear so quickly? And why is it so hard to be consistent, when it ultimately comes down to just doing one thing over and over?
Admittedly, I struggle with consistency myself. It can get mind-numbing, grinding vocabulary flashcards or journaling every day when you run out of ideas. But that doesn’t stop me from writing about this, from the perspective of a student who’s still trying to figure things out.
Change
You are a different person every day.
No, not in the “ship of Theseus” sense, it takes around seven years for your cells to completely replace themselves. We are different in the sense that we can only live in the present, not the past or the future. You don’t get to live as your past self or your future self, and you never will. We are constantly changing, and there’s no guarantee we’ll want the same things in a few years, or even a few months. Sometimes your goals change, and that’s fine.
And something interesting happens when we don’t realize this. There’s a disparity in our mindset and what is actually happening. We think we’re doing these things for ourselves. We think we’re exercising to make ourselves look better. But the thing is, it’s not for ourselves, because we only exist in the present. We are not the same person as our future self. And this disparity is what makes consistency so hard.
Cleanup
The truth is, whatever we promised to do consistently, we’re not doing that for ourselves. We’re doing it for the person who will occupy our body in the future, and I think that subconsciously, our mind realizes this, and asks itself, “Why would I put in effort and do this hard thing if I’m not going to reap any of the rewards?” And maybe that’s one of the reasons consistency is so hard.
“You’re cleaning up someone else’s mess and you’re not even able to enjoy the cleanliness of the space that you put effort into cleaning.”
I think this change in mindset, putting yourself into the shoes of a janitor, is helpful, since you’re no longer lying to yourself that you’ll experience the fruit of your labors. When you skip practice or give yourself another spontaneous cheat day, you’re leaving trash for your future self to pick up. And this is where the factor of compassion comes into play, because if you don’t care about yourself, then how are you going to care about the future person who’s going to occupy your life? How are you going to clean up today when you can just dump all this trash onto the next person?
Cogitation
Again, I’m providing this insight as a peer, not a wise old man. However, I do think there’s some merit to those thoughts, that maybe, recognizing that you’re constantly changing could help. Maybe, recognizing that it’s not going to be easy is useful, and being content with passing on the harvest to someone else is important, despite sowing the seeds yourself. And be kind to yourself. Please.
Life Update!
It just hit me how many supplemental essays I’m going to have to write. I have no doubt these things will consume my semester along with all the current responsibilities I have. And Colorado free application days are so close; why do they have to be so early? Why is it free from October 7-9 when even Early Action and Early Decision deadlines are November 1?
But on a brighter note, this Friday, I competed in the Soifer Math Olympiad (formerly Colorado Math Olympiad), and the problems were surprisingly rewarding to solve! It consists of five problems in four hours, and the problems generally ramp up in difficulty as the number increases, with five often being extremely difficult. Funnily, last year, nobody got any credit on problem five, and two people got partial credit on problem four, so there were a ton of people who tied for third place. This year, it’ll be different though. Problem four was easy, even easier than problem three. I don’t feel confident about my solution to problem five; I wrote up this sketchy solution involving the Borsuk-Ulam theorem. Anyways, I don’t think I’m allowed to post the problems until after the awards ceremony, so check in next week!
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